Me, Myself & Bullying.

Hi guys,

Now this post is just to give you all a taste of what it was like growing up as myself, Aoife Finan. I would never usually talk openly about my own experiences of bullying as I felt highly uncomfortable, but I now feel that I can open up on here because I know that there are people who are going through the same as me.

As a young girl I was bullied in school. I was called numerous names, for example, ugly, fat and weirdo. At night I would have cried myself to sleep, hoping and praying that I wouldn’t have to go into school the next day. The bullying got so bad then that I couldn’t cope with school anymore. I gave my mother excuse after excuse so that I wouldn’t have to face going into school. My mother finally realised that there was something more to the sicknesses that I had been playing off and she sat me down to try to solve the problem. I told her that I was indeed being bullied and I cried for hours after thinking about the hassle that was going to be brought to the school.

The school took the bullying quite serious and actually suspended the bullies after they had admitted that they wer indeed bullying me.

After a few months my mother and father got a divorce and I had to move county. It was really hard to start in a new school, trying to make friends and what not. The rest of my time in primary school was bully free. I truly believed it was over, Until secondary school.

Secondary school was hard for me. There was a certain group of people who thought that it would be funny for them to start calling me names that were not nice at all. They were constantly calling me fat which is hard for me to cope with. I have struggled with my weight all of my life and they ridiculed me for the size that I am. The word ‘fat’ became so commonly used between them, that they decided  a new name for me would me better and funnier. They started to call me ‘burger’. I said to myself, ‘okay, they are getting bored with the original ‘fat’ jokes that they are moving on to call me something that aids weight gain.’ I was crushed, and have been for many years over it.

To this day I have the same group of people calling me those awful names, and it does hurt. But at the end of the day I have the best friends anyone could ask for. They are there for me day or night, whenever I need them. I tell them when I am feeling down and they do the best that they can to help me through the rough times.

I hope that you all read this and stop to think about the things bullying can do to a person. I hope that you all don’t think that this me looking for sympathy, because it’s not. It’s just me showing you that I have been there and I know what it feels like to be let down. So when you read this, know that you can always talk to someone about your problems, family, friends you name it, there will be someone there waiting with an empty shoulder for you to cry on.

Thanks for reading this..

Yours,

Aoife.

 

December 7, 2010. Uncategorized. Leave a comment.

Bullies at work…

Hi Guys,

This post is about bullies and what they do while bullying people.

Bullies tend to choose a weak victim. You can be almost certain that the bully will start to call the victim names. The bully might even start to use physical abuse as a way to break down their victim. I see this kind of behaviour almost every day ans it’s really hard to watch.

The other day I was walking along my local town and saw two young boys and a girl sitting on a bench across the road. A young boy was walking towards the youngsters who were sitting on the bench and he had an almost petrified look on his little face. I walked to a place where I could hear and see what was going on. The young girl who was accompanied by the two young boys started to call the passing boy names such as, ‘queer’, ‘faggot’ and ‘gay’. The young boy kept a brave face while this was happening. After the name calling one of the two boys started to hit the young fellow full force digs into the arm. I thought it was just awful to see this happening to such an innocent young boy. The other boy who didn’t take part in the name calling or the hitting stood there pointing and laughing. I couldn’t believe it.

I think this should be a message to all young people out there. People can be cruel, but you just need to keep telling yourself that you are special and you are important no matter what anyone says. Believe in yourself and don’t let anyone bring you down …

Yours,

Aoife.

November 23, 2010. Uncategorized. 2 comments.

Rest in peace!

Hi guys,

I would like to give this space on my blog to pray for all the young people who have sadly taken their own lives as a result of them being bullied. It is something that I will always try to change as I know how it feels to have lost someone close to me as a result of bullying.

Prayer For The Dead

God our Father,
Your power brings us to birth,
Your providence guides our lives,
and by Your command we return to dust.

Lord, those who die still live in Your presence,
their lives change but do not end.
I pray in hope for my family,
relatives and friends,
and for all the dead known to You alone.

In company with Christ,
Who died and now lives,
may they rejoice in Your kingdom,
where all our tears are wiped away.
Unite us together again in one family,
to sing Your praise forever and ever.

Amen

November 16, 2010. Uncategorized. 2 comments.

Bullying in the workplace!

Hi guys,

This post is just to tell you about bullying that takes place in the workplace. Bullying doesn’t just happen among teenagers, it happens among all age groups. It’s hard to believe, but yes, bullying does take place in many cases, in the workplace.

A great site that has all of the signs of bullying in the workplace and all that kind of thing is http://ie.reachout.com/find/articles/workplace-bullying.

As you can see by this image, bullying is very hurtful to the person on the receiving end. Bullying in the workplace can lower your self-esteem and cause you to be less confident in your work. I would love for you all to take a look at the site that I have provided a link for because it gives so much information about bullying and why you don’t deserve to be bullied.

Thanks for reading,

Yours,

Aoife.

November 9, 2010. Uncategorized. 3 comments.

Is peer pressure a form of bullying?

Hi guys,

To answer the question in the title of this post, yes, peer pressure is a form of bullying. Peer pressure can make you think, look and act in a certain way. Teens are pressured to fit in with their peers. No matter how much a person might not want to do something, they sometimes feel like they have to give into peer pressure to ‘fit in’. Peer pressure can lead to someone picking up awful habits like smoking, drinking and taking drugs. It is fact that half of young people smoke and drink because it is ‘cool’ among their friends. Peer pressure is in fact bullying a person into doing something they don’t want to do. A helpful site to look at is http://www.likeitis.org . It is a site where you can look at different aspects of life e.g. peer pressure, sexuality, teenage pregnancy and so many others. Take a look, it’ll be worth your while!

A story I have that I would like to share with you all is one that I find a bit upsetting. I was babysitting for my aunt not so long ago and I was out the front watching the kids playing. I looked to my right and in that split second I saw a young boy, no older than the age of seven or eight smoking a cigarette. I didn’t know what to do. The boy’s older brother was sitting next to him on the grass telling him that he’d better smoke the whole cigarette or he would tell everyone something embarrassing about him. I was horrified. That just goes to show how peer pressure is all around us, and how dangerous it is. Just imagine, that could be your seven or eight year old child being bullied into doing something as dangerous as smoking a cigarette.

I would love to hear if any of you have any stories related to this topic as I find it particularly interesting. Thanks for taking the time out to read this post!

Yours,

Aoife.

November 2, 2010. Uncategorized. Leave a comment.

Interview with a victim of bullying..

Hello people.

This post is just a little insight to the life of a person who was personally victimized by bully’s. Just to let you all know, the person wanted to be kept unknown for personal reasons. So as you might have expected I am going to write-up the interview as it was spoken between the victim and I.

question 1: What sort of things did the bully’s do to you that made you realise that you were in fact being bullied?

Answer: Well, at the start they just started to exclude me from the group we all hung around in. After that they started to post horrible things about me on their Facebook pages. When I confronted them, they said it was all a joke, but I knew myself that they were serious. All of a sudden I started to get text messages from other people from my school saying that there were rumours going around my school about me. I don’t really want to go into the gory details. I knew then that there was something up. Soon after nobody would talk to me or make any effort to include me in anything. I used to get phone calls during the night with people screaming nasty names at me. I think that above all was the big wakeup call that I needed to tell me that Iwas indeed being bullied. I couldn’t believe it.

Question 2: Did you try to do anything about it?

Answer: No. I was too afraid of what would happen to me. I didn’t tell anyone to save all the hassle but things just became progressively worse.

Question 3: When you say “things got progressively worse” what do you mean?

Answer: Because I didn’t tell anybody, the bullies thought they could get away with making me feel the way I felt. The phone calls became regular (an every night sort of thing), the name calling got worse, and one day I actually got a slap off a girl in my school for doing absolutely nothing. It was hell!

Question 4: When did the bullying stop?

Answer: To be honest, it never did really. I still have the odd few people calling me names and laughing at me when I walk past, but I’ve just learned to cope with it.

Question 5: How did you learn to cope?

Answer: I just looked up websites and read them through and through. One site that I found particularly helpful was kidpower.org. It gave me a lot of support and it also showed me how to ease off the bully’s. If it wasn’t for the close friends that kept me smiling and the really helpful web pages, I don’t think I would have made it through.

After the interview I thanked the person for taking the time out to come and chat with me. They were really shy and quiet. That just goes to show how people can turn on you in a blink of an eye. Thanks for taking the time out to read this.

Yours,

Aoife.

October 24, 2010. Uncategorized. Leave a comment.

Here’s Your Chance!

Hi guys,

I’ve been telling you a lot of stories about people who have been effected by bullies so I was thinking that I would like to hear some of your stories.

Your stories can also make a difference in people’s lives. By just hearing about other ways people, old or young, get bullied, it can change a persons perspective on how to treat bullying. So drop in your story and give people a chance to see what it is like to be on the receiving end of bullying. Help can also be offered after you have left your comment. Don’t forget that there is someone there who will listen to you and give you all the help and support they possibly can.

I look foward to hearing from you all.

Yours,

Aoife.

October 23, 2010. Uncategorized. Leave a comment.

Advice!

This post is more of an advice column. Think of it as a ‘Ask Aoife’ sort of thing. This blog is here to give people advice!, Let people know about stories of bullying, Give people the chance to voice their opinions on each matter that is brought up, and of course ask questions! So what I would like out of this post is for you (the readers) to voice your own personal ideas on the matter. I would also love the chance to give you ( the readers ) advice on whatever your queries may be. I’m a very friendly person so don’t be shy :). Hope to hear from you all soon …

Yours,

Aoife.

October 19, 2010. Uncategorized. 7 comments.

What are the types of bulying?

There are many types of bullying out there that are commonly used to torture innocent people. Types such as physical bullying, verbal bullying, exclusion, gesture bullying, extortion bullying and E-bullying are out there. They are not hard to come across as there are many people who will use these types of bullying to try to ‘mess with’ people’s emotions.

Verbal bullying Can be anything from name calling to rumours. Name calling is a type of bullying that can cause a person to lose confidence, be emotionally bruised and it can also effect a persons learning. Verbal abuse can be very hurtful. It is normally about the victims looks, family, religion, race and sexuality.

Physical bullying Can be any physical aggression towards another person. Male and female are included in this type of bullying but as sources say boys are more likely to engage in physical bullying as they have a ‘greater tendency towards physical aggression’.

Gesture bullying Can be as simple as giving someone a dirty look. Giving someone a dirty look shows an intimidating side to the bully, therefore making the victim scared of what the outcome may be.

Exclusion Is a main type of bullying. It excludes the person from a group, be it their friends, family, co.workers etc.. It attacks the victims ‘ego’ or ‘self image’.

Extortion bullying Can be anything from the bully stealing lunch money, jewellery, clothes and many other personal items to forcing the victim to steal from people who are chosen by the bully. This leads to further intimidation.

E-bullying Is more or less digital bullying. Emails, text messages and social networking sites are what you would call a ‘field day’ for bully’s to select their target! After the bully would select their target, they would begin the abuse! This is where other types of bullying mentioned above come into practice!

When you see this type of cruelty happening it would break your heart! Well I think so anyway! There are so many more types of bullying out there that if i wrote on all of them I would be here all night! But I will be sure to write more on them some other time!

http://www.schooldays.ie/articles/types-of-bullying

The link above is to a site which has all the named types of bullying above in a bit more detail. What more can I say than take a look!

Thanks for reading you guys! :)

October 13, 2010. Uncategorized. 12 comments.

What are the signs.?

You might be thinking, ‘what does she mean by this title’. Well if you are one of those people who are thinking that, I am here to the rescue! My blog has been all about stories of bullying, but I wanted to change it up a little bit! Usually there are signs that people show, unknowingly, when they are being bullied. For example, if your child is afraid to walk to and from school it is likely that bullying is the main cause of that fear. There are many other signs of bullying  i.e.  there is a huge drop in the persons confidance, their possessions continuously go missing, they refuse to talk about what’s wrong, they have unexplained bruises, cuts, scratches, and they become aggressive or unreasonable. A major effect of bullying is when the victim of bullying cannot sleep and whenever they finally manage to catch a wink of sleep its disturbed by nightmares! It’s a horrible feeling (I know this as I was once that victim). If you know somebody that you think is being effected by bullies look out for these signs! And if you happen to start noticing them, you need to talk to that person and make it clear to them that you are there for them! All they will want is to talk to someone they can trust! Let that person be you…

http://www.disabled-world.com/disability/awareness/bully-signs.php

The link above is just another link to other signs of bullying! As I said, keep a look out for these signs and if you notice them, address them! Let your friend/brother/sister/cousin, etc, that you are there if they need a shoulder to cry on!

October 12, 2010. Uncategorized. 6 comments.

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